It's been a looong 5 months

And finally, I'm seeing the end of May.

Flashback to December 2010. I can't remember what the exact words were, or who exactly said them, but they were somewhere along the line of "Enjoy your time in NIE, it's your honeymoon period!". A fine piece of advice indeed before I left Fairfield for the last time as I embarked on my journey to the unknown.

On hindsight, it is perhaps a good thing that I can't recall who provided these words of wisdom, for I would have been tempted to give him a kick up the arse for preparing myself so inadequately for life back in school.

It started off promising enough - a free day every week up till Chinese New Year, with a couple of lectures everyday. Even then, the readings started to mount, and the number of years since I last touched on the contents started to show as I struggled initially with content mastery.

There was hardly any space to breathe in the subsequent weeks. More modules kicked in, and the assignments came fast and furious. There were pre-session readings, post-session reflections, lesson plans, videos to watch and critique. The list goes on, but what made it worse was that each assignment were sometimes worth a meager 20% - so complete assessment of one module sometimes took 3, even 4 assignments. Even if I were the first to admit to being sort of perfectionist, even my shoddiest of efforts took me at least 3 to 4 hours to complete a task.

If ever I had any uncertainty whether I preferred formative or summative assessment, they were all dispelled by what I went through the past four months.

It was perhaps regretful that I spent much of my weekday evenings slogging in the room while wifey and the rest of my family or in-laws bonded in front of the television. It was difficult at times, hearing the laughter filtering in from the living-room while I racked my brains in front of the comp. I could not squeeze time for exercise, to read the books I want, to catch up with close friends, to do the recreational activities I enjoy. These were all cherishable moments, and I can't help feeling a tinge of regret that I have passed them by.

School work was but one of the issues weighing on my shoulders. Renovations were required at the new place, furniture to be bought and assembled, but the most damaging of all was certainly the psychological blow of having to deal with issues at home. I've never felt so much despair and genuine helplessness at times and I truly hope I will never get to go through these ever again. It was a very tricky issue to navigate, and I was on the receiving end of some barbed comments and unfair labels.

Throughout this very difficult period, I still managed to seek some light at the end of the tunnel. There were my closest friends who encouraged me to believe that it would all work out in the end, even at the bleakest of times. More importantly, I must thank my dearest wifey for being tolerant and understanding with regards to my situation, both at school and at home. Everybody have their wants, but it takes great love to put aside these wants for a compromise that would make the one you love feel better. For that, I also owe her an apology for not handling things to the best I could have done.

I may not be the perfect husband, but I am learning and growing in this role everyday, so that one day, I can be as close to one as I possibly can.