Father succumbed to his battle with colorectal cancer today. He was 60.
It was slightly over 3 years ago when he was first diagnosed with the disease. Back then, it was a huge blow to all of us in the family - after all, there was nary any symptoms and he had been fit as a fiddle over the past few years. As a close-knitted family, it was a difficult pill to swallow, but we knew all of us had to fight the impending battle together.
Operations followed, including one to remove the cancerous growth and another on his back. Much as it was physically painful for him, it hurt us emotionally as well to see Father having to undergo all these at his age. Yet he remained positive and active as much as he could. Before the back operation hampered his lower limb mobility, he would wake up early and go for morning walks along the track near Chinese Gardens, believing that the fresh air and daily exercises would do him good. He also made changes to his diet and adapted to to a healthier menu. His mantra was simple - the odds may be stacked against me, but I ain't going down without a fight.
Throughout this initial period, he rarely complained about the ill-effects that were ravaging within his body. By putting up a stoic front, we knew he was trying to ease our worries and alleviate any pain he knew all of us were feeling. This had always been his trait - putting the family before self, as Qi Qi and her family can bear testament to. For so many years, he had worked tirelessly for the family, to sufficiently provide for his loved ones and to give his children the best he could possibly afford. Now that he was unwell, we knew that he was concealing his pain from all of us, just so as to lessen the family's worries.
If there were any silver lining to the entire episode, it was the fact that the family drew closer in the face of adversity. We spent time travelling whenever we could afford to, spending quality family time, enjoying our favourite foods together, even doing a photo shoot for both him & Mother on V-Day last year. On another note, I could see that both Qi Qi and her brother had matured so much over the past couple of years, as they stepped up to take on more active roles in the family.
Qi Qi and I were really glad that Father was fit enough to be the witness to our solemnization in September last year. Having him and my Dad sign on our marriage certificate was the best solemnization gift we could hope for, and the event also presented us with a great opportunity to tell him and the rest of our families how we felt towards them. Father was visibly moved by what he heard, yet it was absolutely essential that he knew how much the efforts he put in for the family over the years had not gone unnoticed.
The birth of his grandson, Javen, brought great joy to him as well. He doted on him, as I remember fondly the numerous trips he made to the baby cot just to look at Javen, and to hopefully coax a response out of the little one. By this time, he had grown much weaker, yet little Javen's actions never failed to bring a smile to his face.
I have to admit that we were gravely concerned 4 weeks prior to our wedding day, as the doctors explained to us that the cancer cells had spread to his brain. His blood platelets count plunged to dangerously low levels, and we even contemplated the possibility of bringing forward our tea ceremony. Yet Father provided us with the assurance, that having persevered so far, he would definitely hang in there for June the 9th.
Our big day arrived, and we managed to proceed with the tea ceremony, even if Father wasn't in the best of shape when we returned in the morning. Yet it represented a triumph of sorts for all of us, for we managed to fulfill another of his wishes - to see Qi Qi and I getting married. Even during the dinner, whereby he was visibly exhausted, he still kept his presence for almost the entire night. This amazing display of resilience touched me greatly, as I managed to give him my word that I would take care of the family in front of everyone present.
To our dearest Father, thank you for all that you have contributed to the family over the past years. You have undoubtedly played your part in bringing up your children well, instilling in them excellent morals and values. Your resilience, determination, and courage during this difficult period was the greatest act of love you have shown to us.
May you rest in peace, and always remember that you will forever be a part of us.
It was slightly over 3 years ago when he was first diagnosed with the disease. Back then, it was a huge blow to all of us in the family - after all, there was nary any symptoms and he had been fit as a fiddle over the past few years. As a close-knitted family, it was a difficult pill to swallow, but we knew all of us had to fight the impending battle together.
Operations followed, including one to remove the cancerous growth and another on his back. Much as it was physically painful for him, it hurt us emotionally as well to see Father having to undergo all these at his age. Yet he remained positive and active as much as he could. Before the back operation hampered his lower limb mobility, he would wake up early and go for morning walks along the track near Chinese Gardens, believing that the fresh air and daily exercises would do him good. He also made changes to his diet and adapted to to a healthier menu. His mantra was simple - the odds may be stacked against me, but I ain't going down without a fight.
Throughout this initial period, he rarely complained about the ill-effects that were ravaging within his body. By putting up a stoic front, we knew he was trying to ease our worries and alleviate any pain he knew all of us were feeling. This had always been his trait - putting the family before self, as Qi Qi and her family can bear testament to. For so many years, he had worked tirelessly for the family, to sufficiently provide for his loved ones and to give his children the best he could possibly afford. Now that he was unwell, we knew that he was concealing his pain from all of us, just so as to lessen the family's worries.
If there were any silver lining to the entire episode, it was the fact that the family drew closer in the face of adversity. We spent time travelling whenever we could afford to, spending quality family time, enjoying our favourite foods together, even doing a photo shoot for both him & Mother on V-Day last year. On another note, I could see that both Qi Qi and her brother had matured so much over the past couple of years, as they stepped up to take on more active roles in the family.
Qi Qi and I were really glad that Father was fit enough to be the witness to our solemnization in September last year. Having him and my Dad sign on our marriage certificate was the best solemnization gift we could hope for, and the event also presented us with a great opportunity to tell him and the rest of our families how we felt towards them. Father was visibly moved by what he heard, yet it was absolutely essential that he knew how much the efforts he put in for the family over the years had not gone unnoticed.
The birth of his grandson, Javen, brought great joy to him as well. He doted on him, as I remember fondly the numerous trips he made to the baby cot just to look at Javen, and to hopefully coax a response out of the little one. By this time, he had grown much weaker, yet little Javen's actions never failed to bring a smile to his face.
I have to admit that we were gravely concerned 4 weeks prior to our wedding day, as the doctors explained to us that the cancer cells had spread to his brain. His blood platelets count plunged to dangerously low levels, and we even contemplated the possibility of bringing forward our tea ceremony. Yet Father provided us with the assurance, that having persevered so far, he would definitely hang in there for June the 9th.
Our big day arrived, and we managed to proceed with the tea ceremony, even if Father wasn't in the best of shape when we returned in the morning. Yet it represented a triumph of sorts for all of us, for we managed to fulfill another of his wishes - to see Qi Qi and I getting married. Even during the dinner, whereby he was visibly exhausted, he still kept his presence for almost the entire night. This amazing display of resilience touched me greatly, as I managed to give him my word that I would take care of the family in front of everyone present.
To our dearest Father, thank you for all that you have contributed to the family over the past years. You have undoubtedly played your part in bringing up your children well, instilling in them excellent morals and values. Your resilience, determination, and courage during this difficult period was the greatest act of love you have shown to us.
May you rest in peace, and always remember that you will forever be a part of us.
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