25 October 2010 marks an important day in our life... ...

it is THE day we found that I am preggie... :)

Thank You, Dr Zee and Dr Wong

Dear Dr Zee Ying Kiat (NUH),

Thank you for the excellent care you have given our dad from May 07 to Mar 09. Your words of encouragement meant so much to dad and the family, especially after each unsuccessful treatment. We felt your empathy throughout and your genuine disappointment each time. Thanks for being so sincere and always putting in your best. Here's what dad said about you, in his own words: "Dr Zee heng hao, shi ge hao yi sheng. Heng jin ze you xi xin." Thanks for always making our dad feel good and comforted to have a doctor like you.

During your one year of studies, where Dr Wong took over, she always tell our dad to take good care of himself and wait for your return. Our dad did, albeit for a short while. Thanks for visiting him everyday during his last days in NUH, allowing him to bid farewell to you. Am sure he appreciated that much.

Our dad is indeed fortunate to know you and have you as his doctor. Am sure dad will bless you and your family.

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Dear Dr Wong Chiung Ing (NUH),

We would like to express our thanks for the wonderful care you have rendered to our father for the past one year plus (Mar 09 to Jun 10). Thanks for constantly finding new treatments and never giving up on him. Just want you to know that dad always praise you for your professionalism and speedy response. In his words: "Dr Wong zhuo shi heng kuai, yao zuo scan, blood test, mei ci do shi li ke de, bu yong deng." He was impressed with you, no doubt about that.

Because of your care and efforts in making special arrangements, he was able to witness both his children's weddings and the birth of his grandson. Am sure he was very appreciative.

It was a pity that he could not try the trial drug this time, but he was fortunate to have you as his doctor, visiting him everyday during his last days. Thank you, Dr Wong. Wherever dad is, we are sure he will bless you!

An Ode to Father

Father succumbed to his battle with colorectal cancer today. He was 60.

It was slightly over 3 years ago when he was first diagnosed with the disease. Back then, it was a huge blow to all of us in the family - after all, there was nary any symptoms and he had been fit as a fiddle over the past few years. As a close-knitted family, it was a difficult pill to swallow, but we knew all of us had to fight the impending battle together.

Operations followed, including one to remove the cancerous growth and another on his back. Much as it was physically painful for him, it hurt us emotionally as well to see Father having to undergo all these at his age. Yet he remained positive and active as much as he could. Before the back operation hampered his lower limb mobility, he would wake up early and go for morning walks along the track near Chinese Gardens, believing that the fresh air and daily exercises would do him good. He also made changes to his diet and adapted to to a healthier menu. His mantra was simple - the odds may be stacked against me, but I ain't going down without a fight.

Throughout this initial period, he rarely complained about the ill-effects that were ravaging within his body. By putting up a stoic front, we knew he was trying to ease our worries and alleviate any pain he knew all of us were feeling. This had always been his trait - putting the family before self, as Qi Qi and her family can bear testament to. For so many years, he had worked tirelessly for the family, to sufficiently provide for his loved ones and to give his children the best he could possibly afford. Now that he was unwell, we knew that he was concealing his pain from all of us, just so as to lessen the family's worries.

If there were any silver lining to the entire episode, it was the fact that the family drew closer in the face of adversity. We spent time travelling whenever we could afford to, spending quality family time, enjoying our favourite foods together, even doing a photo shoot for both him & Mother on V-Day last year. On another note, I could see that both Qi Qi and her brother had matured so much over the past couple of years, as they stepped up to take on more active roles in the family.

Qi Qi and I were really glad that Father was fit enough to be the witness to our solemnization in September last year. Having him and my Dad sign on our marriage certificate was the best solemnization gift we could hope for, and the event also presented us with a great opportunity to tell him and the rest of our families how we felt towards them. Father was visibly moved by what he heard, yet it was absolutely essential that he knew how much the efforts he put in for the family over the years had not gone unnoticed.

The birth of his grandson, Javen, brought great joy to him as well. He doted on him, as I remember fondly the numerous trips he made to the baby cot just to look at Javen, and to hopefully coax a response out of the little one. By this time, he had grown much weaker, yet little Javen's actions never failed to bring a smile to his face.

I have to admit that we were gravely concerned 4 weeks prior to our wedding day, as the doctors explained to us that the cancer cells had spread to his brain. His blood platelets count plunged to dangerously low levels, and we even contemplated the possibility of bringing forward our tea ceremony. Yet Father provided us with the assurance, that having persevered so far, he would definitely hang in there for June the 9th.

Our big day arrived, and we managed to proceed with the tea ceremony, even if Father wasn't in the best of shape when we returned in the morning. Yet it represented a triumph of sorts for all of us, for we managed to fulfill another of his wishes - to see Qi Qi and I getting married. Even during the dinner, whereby he was visibly exhausted, he still kept his presence for almost the entire night. This amazing display of resilience touched me greatly, as I managed to give him my word that I would take care of the family in front of everyone present.

To our dearest Father, thank you for all that you have contributed to the family over the past years. You have undoubtedly played your part in bringing up your children well, instilling in them excellent morals and values. Your resilience, determination, and courage during this difficult period was the greatest act of love you have shown to us.

May you rest in peace, and always remember that you will forever be a part of us.

Operation YMH

After months of preparation and anticipation, Qi Qi and I were glad that our evening turned out splendidly and smoothly. This was in no small part thanks to all the help and unwaivering support rendered by our family, relatives and close friends, all of whom we extend our earnest appreciation to.

On a personal level, the highlight of my evening was the successful completion of Operation YMH. It was a plan which was initiated 3 months ago and which was set to be unveiled on the night.

I recall Qi Qi and I reviewing my 2009 resolutions at the start of this year. Written somewhere near the bottom of the list was "to pick up playing the digital piano", one of 3 other resolutions which remained unfulfilled. Having recalled how adamant I was in wanting to pick up playing the instrument, it suddenly seemed right to dedicate a song for my wife-to-be as a wedding gift. Surely, it would be something meaningful and memorable for the both of us!

And so I embarked on this mission, which I duly named Operation YMH (for Yamaha). It definitely wasn't easy because of several reasons. First up was obviously having to conceal the fact that I was taking piano lessons on the sly, especially so since the lessons were only available on weekday evenings which meant I had to do it after work. It was difficult making it on time on most days, and it also meant I had to tell Qi Qi lots of white lies along the way - for the times when I said I had to stay back late in school or was resting at home, I was in fact hidden away in a room on the 6th floor of Plaza Singapura banging away on the keyboard. Then there was the time pressure of having to master the song within 10 lessons. And of course, the biggest effort was to convince myself that I could do this in front of a crowd this big.

To say all these were intimidating would be taking it a tad lightly, but deep down, I knew I wanted to do this for Qi Qi.

It took countless hours of practice, many rehearsals with my buddies to improvise the song, and of course repititive crooning of the song in the presence of the ever-enduring ears at home. But when the spotlight became focused on me that night, and as I glanced at Qi Qi, I smiled at her and told myself - I am doing this for you, baby, and I know you will love it no matter how it turns out.

And so here it is once again - my promise to my best friend forever.

I will be here. =)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up, and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark we lose sight of love, hold my hand and have no fear
I will be here

I will be here, when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind, I will listen
And I will be here, when the laughter turns to crying
Through the winning, losing and trying - we'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up, and the future is unclear
I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change, our lifetimes are made for years
So I will be here

I will be here, you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older, I will hold you
And I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here...

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the one, who gave you to me...

I will be here
And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I will be here - we'll be together
I will be here...

An Chuang

We completed another significant 'milestone' today - that is An Chuang (set the bed). Apparently the reason for An Chuang is for us to be blessed with marital bliss and make the fertility gods happy so that we will have many babies. :)

Weeks ago, we went with Dear Dear's family to Chinatown to purchase the An Chuang items. We didn't know exactly what to do, so we followed based on what the seller told us and based on a book our fengshui master gave us.

Ok so today, my family and I made our way to Dear'Dear's place at 11 plus this morning. Once we reached, Dear and I hurriedly laid the bed, made the bed with new bright red bedsheets we bought. As auspicious time was from 7am to 1pm.

Managed to snap a photo before we continued. :p

Placed 4 fruits (Pomelo, Dragonfruit, Peach and Parisimon) at each corner of the bed, with a tray of offerings in the middle.

Then we got Baby Javen to roll our bed. He was actually asleep. Hehe.

Hilarious short clip of him rolling the bed, with much-needed assistance from my parents at the bottom of the page.

Good job, Javen! Here's a red packet for you.

Completed the process of An-Chuang with group family photos taken:

Guo Da Li

Dear and I just had our Guo Da Li ritual last Sunday, two weeks before our actual day. Simple it might have been, it was a very tiring day for us. Some photos to describe our hectic day:

Started with Dear and his 2 appointed 'matchmakers', Auntie Ella and Auntie Bancha arriving at my place.

Gifts to the Bride and family:

Gifts to the Groom and family:

A group photo of my parents with our matchmakers:

A group photo with my cutie nephew, Javen:

After the Guo Da Li, Dear and I went back to my in-laws' place to pray to our ancestors, and thereafter, we went to distribute wedding cakes. It's a pity that we didn't take any photos. :(

#39-45 or #31-26?

Hubby and I went through a tough decision-making process on 7th May - The day we went to HDB to select a flat.

With a balloting number of 0152, we were in the upper percentile of 15%. This Dawson selection was unique in that it consisted of 2 developers offering different architecture layouts - SkyTerrace and SkyVille. SkyTerrace offered loft units, and our first choice was steered towards that. Never mind the troublesome maintenance. Hubby spent one whole day, shortlisting 90 units the weekend before our selection date. Why so many you may ask? Ok we were kiasu, there were still 90 people in front of us before our turn.

With only about 170 4-room loft units, our number did not seem that good afterall. There were still a number of loft units for us to choose though and we deemed #31-26 (facing south) to be the best of the lots. Still, it wasn't good enough. Facing public housing flats of 30 storeys directly opposite, we know that getting #31-26 would mean the view would be partially blocked.

On the other hand, SkyVille normal units facing north offered paranomic views, overlooking Dempsey and Orchard. And we have narrowed it down to #39-45. We didn't choose any units higher, for it will start with an unlucky '4' - Our parents preferred that we not choose.

So the decision boiled down to either a loft unit with less-than fantastic view or a normal layout unit with a breathtaking view. You would find this hard to believe, but we reached HDB Hub at 2pm and we couldn't come to a decision till 5.30pm.

To make a choice between the two was tough, but ultimately, we decided what we wanted to do at the end of each day is to sit in the balcony, have a cuppa and enjoy the scenery. #39-45 triumphs. :p

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary...

It's been more than 2 weeks since I've begun my new career as an educator. It certainly has been an intriguing and eye-opening experience - though sometimes I do feel I am being led on a roller-coaster ride of emotions.

I remember as I was nearing the end of my tenure in my ex-company, one of my superiors had declared aloud, "It's a pity you are leaving at this time, just as we are fighting this battle during such a difficult market situation. Go teaching, no challenge la. Oh yeah, maybe have la - the challenge of facing the demanding parents when they come to school complaining why their kids are not doing well in your class.."

I would have given him a piece of my mind there and then, but I knew better than to argue with an idiot cos one can never beat them in their own game.

Well, for a good part of 2 weeks, I certainly had a good taste of what 'challenge' means for an educator. The first class I ever set foot upon was a normal academic class, and the classroom behavior that greeted me was certainly something I had never seen before. Half the lesson was spent getting the kids to settle down, and the other half was a dressing down from the senior teacher for insubordination. Nevertheless, I slowly established a rapport with all the classes I was observing, and the job grew on me.

Yet it was only today that I realized how different it was to be leading the line on my own. Due to the school's urgent requirement, I was to be the subject teacher for 2 classes, a normal tech class and a tail-end express class.

To cut a long story short, the rowdiness, indifference, open defiance and blatant bo-chupness left me mentally drained, and I even suspected I was traumatized by the experience. I dropped Qi Qi a message at the end of the day - "I'm home. Feeling lousy after what happened in my classes today." And even after a 1 hour nap, I still wasn't able to pull myself together. 2 questions constantly nagged at me. Why weren't they responding to me? Had I adopted the wrong approach?

Yet I can always trust my soul-mate to provide the best pep talk to give me the shot in the arm that I needed. Good ol' wifey listened intently to my woes, allowed me to rant and rave before simply offering her 2 cents' worth about how I could patiently estabish a rapport with a section of the class first before slowly gaining the trust and belief of the rest of them. It all made sense immediately - a simple and soft approach to gather feedback about the class regarding me and reaching out to the class via my sincerity. More importantly, I felt re-invigorated after listening and sharing, and I reminded myself why I had given up my prospects in other fields to teach.

Thank you, my soul-mate and ever-dependable best friend...

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; you raise me up... to more than I can be.

Oh no...not much progress!

Exactly 3 more months to go before our Big day.. and we haven't done much since we confirmed the location of our wedding banquet dinner in December 2009. :(

Our long list of tasks to do over the next few weeks:

- Finalise gowns and suits on coming Sat and do photoshoot next Mon.
- Selection of photos and confirmation of photo album layout
- Search for Videographer
- Do photo montage and related
- Choose wedding march-in songs
- Liaise with hotel coordinator on choice of wedding favours, wedding cards, food-tasting date, decorations, programme schedule
- Customise wedding favours.
- Confirmation of guests list and send out invites
- Meet up with Brothers and Sisters to discuss programme schedule and colour theme
- Prepare speech
- Purchase of traditional stuff - which we totally have no idea what is required
- Purchase of wedding accessories
- Purchase thank-you gifts for our parents.

Ok, we admit, we are procrastinators, it's time we buck up. (Well, deep down in our heart, we know that we will complete all the tasks somehow, we are that confident!:)

On the optimistic side, we have finally booked our honeymoon, after 2 consecutive visits to the Natas Fair, woo hoo! Another happy news that got both Jeff and me excited is that we finally balloted successfully for our dream home. Queue no. 152 for a unit at Dawson! Despite the many tasks awaiting for us, we can't wait to select our unit!

I'm Pregnant?

With a decreasing metabolic rate as I grow older, coupled with the fact that I snack a lot, I grappled with the fact that my waistline is expanding. I could no longer fit into many of my bottoms other than those elastic ones. Tshirts that used to look large on me become tight. Unlike guys who usually have the problem of love handles, mine is a problem of protruding tummy. I cannot help but to start asking myself this question "Do I look like I'm pregnant?"

Many months back, a lady in her thirties gave up her seat to me during a crowded MRT ride. It dawned on me that it must be that she thought I was pregnant. For I wasn’t carrying a walking stick, neither was I carrying so much stuff to warrant a seat from her. So how else to explain for this phenomenon other than I looked pregnant enough for her to give her up seat?

To tell the truth, I wasn’t actually very affected at that point in time, I was in fact amused and told many people about this incident. I got a seat in a crowded train! How rare was that? :p And soon after, I forgot about the incident. Did not bother to do anything also.

However, I wanted to do something last June, to get rid of my tummy fats. Well, I wanted to fit into my dress for my solemnization. Jeff was determined to lose his love handles too and looked his best for our garden solemnization. And so, we started to exercise pretty regularly and stopped ourselves from junk food and buffets. (Btw, we love buffets to bits!) Months of hard work, and we managed to trim down a little. At least, that’s what the weighing scale said.

Of course, after months of controlling our cravings, we headed straight to McDonalds the next morning after our rom in Sept 09. Never did Big breakfast tasted so yummy. We began to relax in our diets again… it was afterall, 9 months before our actual wedding.



Now, with a few months of good food indulgence, our tummy is beginning to show again. :(

But with a good plan in mind, I’m determined to make it disappear for a long time.. till I real-ly get pregnant. That’s probably the only time I’m proud to have a tummy, keke.

Jeff is really confident that this plan would work (can you believe it? He’s not feeling skeptical at all! Rare!) and he is going to go through the same thing with me soon.

I’ve faith that we would succeed in it. Good bye (soon), abdominal fats!

(Was contemplating whether to show a photo of my big tummy, but decided that I’m too shy to do it haha..)